Not to be a Debbie Downer. I'm going to be getting a little emotional in this post. I figured no one is reading as of right now, so I won't be ruining any days. But since I decided to blog about my life, it's only appropriate to truly write what our family is going through. In a sense, this is my "get it off my chest," have a cry fest, vent party, before I have to pick myself back up so I don't scare or worry the kids. That's what Moms' do. We stay strong, but we HAVE to have a break session.
This is Marty
Our first baby. Our son's best friend.
Those who have animals know how incredibly difficult is to watch your pet fine one day, then take a drastic turn the next. Without going into details, because those who have witnessed a pet slowly fad, knows exactly what we are witnessing right now.
We know now what is going on, but what is causing it is a mystery. It could be a disorder or it could be cancer. We aren't sure. We have been trying all different medications and procedures in hopes we find at least one that will make him comfortable.
I understand and have excepted that no matter what we do and try, nothing will make our Marty young again. His body may be failing him right now, but we aren't. And we won't give up till Marty gives us a sign saying enough is enough.
Now I am entering what I have come to believe to be the most difficult part of being a parent thus far.
Explaining this to our three year old.
There's no question, Henry ADORES Marty. And decisions will have to be made, no matter how hard we try to deny it. My mind has been spinning. How do I explain this to my son?
I have come to the realization that how sporadic Marty took a turn, that's how I will have to handle the conversation with my Son. I have no idea how he will react. I have no idea what questions he will ask. I cannot predict his feelings or how he wants to cope. I will just have to use my best judgment at that moment.
What I do know, I will not lie to my Son. I will tell him Marty died ("passed away" would confuse him) I will tell him Marty has been very sick. That the doctors have tried everything they could. I will tell him I'm not sure where Marty is now. That others' may say he could be in a place called heaven. I will not sob in front of him, but I will tell him that I am sad, and it's okay to be sad. We will always miss Marty. I will encourage him to tell stories about Marty. I will hang up a photo of Marty to give my son something "tangible" to tie to his once best friend.
I will not take the easy route in explaining this to my son for the sake of making a difficult conversation, comfortable. He deserves the truth, its just up to me to figure out the "best" way of telling him. I know my job isn't to make sure he understands everything. He is three, so he's perception of death will most likely be that it's temporary. My job is going to be just being here and answering any questions honestly in terms he can understand.
He truly is the best, sweetest, most gentle dog. We love him. He's our family.
(I am not an expert. Just a Mommy typing what I'm thinking.)